Brain Ninja by Dane Cook :Soul Eater Version
by blackstarlover31
Summary: Soul and Maka Have been dating for about three months and things are going down hill. One night when they get into a fight Maka Brain Ninjas Souls mind and it ends up very, very funny! Come along on the ride to see how Maka gets the name "The Mental Terrorist"


**Inspired by "Brain Ninja" by Dane Cook and Progota**

**If you haven't seen the video then you wont understand.**

**Here it is watch?v=U6lDJb-0UVg**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>The Thompson twins, Tsubaki, and Maka were having a girls day on a beautiful Saturday. They stopped to have smoothies at Death Cafe and have a decent conversation. But you know it didn't happen that way.<p>

Patti was going on and on about her giraffe, Liz was busy painting her nails purple, Tsubaki was reading a yaoi manga hoping everyone wouldn't notice, and our fellow bookworm was reading Romeo and Juliette for the 23'rd time.

Everything was going well until Liz couldn't take the silence anymore and slammed her hands on the table.

"I can't take it anymore! I can't just sit here and act like were okay with this!" she screamed and maybe the whole block could hear her."Maka we need to talk about this!" she pointed to the scythe mister.

"Talk about what?" the dirty blond asked while putting down her book.

"We just need to ask you a question," Tsubaki said in rather a loud voice.

"Ask away," Maka said leaning back in her chair wanting to know what was going on.

"When are you going to dump that asshole of a boyfriend you have?" Liz said obviously talking about Soul.

Soul and Maka have been dating for about a three months now and thing s are starting to go down hill. It's not like they still don't like each other its just that there are some things they need to work out.

"Maka why don't you just go?"

"Where here cause were concerned about you."

"Yah just leave him!"

"We just wanna see you happy."

"He's a dick-wad!"

Maka finnally got the chance to speak and took a beat breath.

"I cat just go. I can't just go Liz it's not that easy. You guys think I can just go? It's not that simple, alright. My books are in his apartment. So I can't just go, okay." Maka explained to them. And just then she looked at the time and said she had to go make dinner and left.

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><p><strong>(Later That Night)<strong>

Really Maka, really! I work my fucking ass off all day and you can't even put food on the table?!" Soul exclaims.

For real Soul didn't really care about dinner he just wanted to start a fight. It was a regular to start fight with Maka in Souls eyes. To tell the truth he kind of liked it. All the adrenalin and steam would make really good make-up-sex later.

"Why do I need to make dinner? Make it your own dame self!" Maka yelled back.

"All you ever do all day it lay around the house and read you stupid ass books! For some one so smart you can't seen to have dinner on the table on time!" Things where starting to get serious. No one, I repeat, no one calls Maka Albarns books **stupid**!

As she was thinking of a plan she smirked to herself. This plan was going to be a destroyer of worlds.

"You are **SOOOOO** right Soul," Maka exclaims trying not to show her sarcasm in her voice,"You right and I'm always wrong! Cause you are the star of right and where all just floating in a sea of wrong, while you go by in your ship of right. Just tell me, throw me a lifeline so I know. You right, I don't even know if I'm right about this. I could just be standing here in a pool of wrong, but you know. How bout you tell me if I'm right, right know cause you just know everything"

Soul could hear the words coming out of Maka's, but he was not paying mush attention to her movement. As she was going on about how right Soul was Maka separated her legs, putting all her weight on her left hip and locked her legs.

Soul felt pride over come him,"Thank you, that's what I've been trying to tell you..." and Soul went on about how right he was for almost thirty minuets. But as he went on Maka tried to hide her smirks and once in a while she would do a hand gestures that resembled a windshield wiper, while also putting her hand under her chin.

"Keep going Soul I need to learn how to be so cool like you" Soul smirks and keeps going.

"Well Maka What you need to learn is that..." then when Soul is done with his rant Maka turns and walks about four or five steps towards her room. When she stops she turns her head towards Soul. Her bangs covering her eyes and looking at his feet, she looked like she was about to say something.

Soul leans in a little to hear and Maka starts to talk.

"You know what, Soul? You stupid like you father."

"HAHAHAHA! That's all you got Maka, really?" Soul laughs as Maka walks into her room.

"Stupid like my father? Shes so stupid, that doesn't even make any sense!" He walks in front of the T.V and starts to watch cartoons.

The bomb has been planted...And the bomb will go **BOOM!**

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><p><strong> (2 Days Later)<strong>

Soul pasted back and forth in his room. What Maka had said two days ago has gone deep into his cerebellum( the part of the brain that plays an important part in motor control)

"Stupid like my father? My father was a **BRILLIANT** man! He may have been controlling, but **GREAT**!" He forcefully opened the door and went to find Maka.

He ran around the apartment sweating and raging ready to explode. Suddenly forgetting the layout of this own place the opened a door only to find out it was a closet.

Finally when he did find Maka she was in the kitchen eating Ramen. She watched in amusement as he walked in breathing like he just ran a 50k. But on the way to the kitchen Soul didn't plan anything to say. He had no dialog planed. So he just comes out with some crazy shit.

"Oh, yah. Your just gonna eat your motherfuckin' noodles right!? I bet you love those noodles, huh?" Soul yelled at Maka. But she didn't seem fazed, she just looked down at her bowl and ate some more noodles.

"But tell me this Maka, how bought the fuckin' noodles Maka? Answer me, who bought the motherfuckin' noodles!?"

Maka finally looked up from her noodles and said "You did , Soul".

"Yah, those where my fuckin' noodles cause i bought every fuckin' box and their mine! Enjoy my fuckin' noodles! **MINE**! And I loved noodles my whole fuckin' **LIFE**!"

"And you know why? You wanna know why? Cause when I was little boy my dad use to buy me all the noodles I wanted! If I said 'Daddy I want some noodles' he would go out and get me some noodles! And you know why? Cause he's a **SMART** fuckin' guy! **YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW**!" Soul yelled at a surprised and amused Maka.

"**YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! YOU. DON'T. EVEN. KNOW!**" He squeaked out the last four words in a very high pitch voice. Soul stomped back to his room and slammed the door.

And there sat Maka, still eating her noodles and feeling proud.

"Call me Maka The Mental Terrorist." Shes said as she went on to eat her noodles.

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><p><strong>I really hope you like it and sorry if I have misspelled words( bitch can't spell). I just really hope you liked it<strong>

**_~BSL31_**


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